


smosh james

by berrries



Category: Smosh
Genre: Gen, Group chat, If you wanna read it, Pretend Family, SO GO READ IT DON'T READ THIS IT'S CRAP, also pretend shartney at times, because they just like to pick on each other, i did group chat chapters in my fic circus smash, i would attempt tagging but i'm really sleep deprived, imma just add to it until i forget it exists, inspired by shenanigans by fabrayy, like they do in videos, maybe future pertend courtivia, pretending coze/iancorn/shartney, that family being shaymien with sister courtney and adopted daughter boze, this will probably never get an ending, which will happen some day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-19
Updated: 2020-02-13
Packaged: 2021-02-27 14:02:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 5,236
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22298266
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/berrries/pseuds/berrries
Summary: no not the tumblr user you idiotsorry not that the user is an idiotyou are if you thought thatokay i'm sorry you are beautiful if you read this crapsorry i'm ramblingFat joe-- i want to sag your picklesDamimen-- you have been stopped
Relationships: No Romantic Relationship(s)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 28





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [shenanigans](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22282795) by [orphan_account](https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account). 



> i'm sorry

Damimen added Shanyé to smosh james  
Mari tacohashi-- damien wtf  
Boze bozington-- this is jamers only idiot  
Shanyé-- well that explains what i’m doing here  
Wes irl-- did you bring candy  
Shanyé-- can i venmo you money  
Wes irl-- yah sure  
Joen-- this is nuts  
\--  
Damimen added Papa ian to smosh james  
Mari tacohashi-- damien wtf  
Boze bozington-- this is jamers only idiot  
Damimen-- he’s our boss and savior  
Flitz-- touché  
Shanyé-- daddy you’re here  
Papa ian-- tis i the lesbian of the table  
Flitz-- i see.  
Boze bozington-- why you use punctuation  
Flitz-- it ends the text in a complete and yet humorous way.  
Shanyé-- flitz has reached the peak of comedy  
Shanyé-- i am now taking notes.  
Mari tacohashi-- this is just…  
Boze bozington-- f  
Joen-- exactly  
\--  
Shayné added Corkney to smosh james  
Mari tacohashi-- shayne wtf  
Boze bozington-- this is jamers only idiot  
Damimen-- why do you guys keep doing that  
Boze bozington-- what  
Corkney-- hoo hoo  
Boze bozington-- babe!  
Corkney-- babe!  
Shanyé-- are you cheating on me court  
Corkney-- yes  
Joen-- with me  
Corkney-- no  
Flitz-- guys where’s sohinki  
Mari tacohashi-- DAMIEN DID YOU FORGET TO ADD SOHINKI  
Sohin-- no i’ve been just watching the notifications  
Corkney-- i can’t believe you added me and shayne but not lasercorn  
Mari tacohashi-- DAMIEN  
Damimen-- oops  
Papa ian-- COURTNEY YOU’RE FIRED FOR FORGETTING ME  
Corkney-- oops  
\--  
Corkney added Fat joe to smosh james  
Fat joe-- it’s about dan time  
Mari tacohashi-- courtney wtf  
Boze bozington-- this is jamers only idiot  
Boze bozington-- crahp we were late  
Shanyé-- yeet  
Damimen-- SHAYnE WHAT DID YOU DO  
Corkney-- shayyyyyyyyyne  
Fat joe-- he threw her shoe out the window  
Joen-- olivia why didn’t you stop him  
Fat joe-- i was recording it for the smosh insta  
Boze bozington-- get dat clout girl  
Fat joe-- yee  
Papa ian-- yah get smosh dat moneee babeeeeeeee  
Shanyé-- ian is on crack confirmed  
Papa ian-- noooooooooooooooo  
Joen-- get lasercorn on here  
Joen-- he’s the only one who can stop this  
Damimen-- …  
Corkney-- can’t tell if typing or that’s the text  
Mari tacohashi-- that’s the text  
Corkney-- gr8  
Boze bozington-- no  
Boze bozington-- we are not starting that  
Boze bozington-- again  
Corkney-- i’m sorry what  
Mari tacohashi-- long before you were added to the chat…  
Sohin-- the jovenshire used texting lingo with numbers, mostly 8…  
Wes irl-- war broke out among the chat…  
Damimen-- with boze coming out on top…  
Flitz-- and now we don’t speak 8s  
Fat joe-- gr8  
Boze bozington-- …!  
\--  
Fat joe added Gross dood to smosh james  
Mari tacohashi-- olivia wtf  
Boze bozington-- this is jamers only idiot  
Mari tacohashi-- when will you add lasercorn  
Gross dood-- yah he’s gonna be so pissed  
Shanyé-- yay it’s my little bro noah  
Gross dood-- big bro shayne  
Gross dood-- sisterr court bourt  
Gross dood-- sister livliv  
Fat joe-- i am nun  
Gross dood-- brother keith  
Gross dood-- f  
Gross dood-- whoops  
Gross dood added Michael jackson to smosh james  
Mari tacohashi-- noah wtf  
Boze bozington-- this is jamers only idiot  
Michael jackson-- back from the ded boi  
Boze bozington-- go away boomer  
Corkney-- wtf  
Boze bozington-- give it a few years  
Boze bozington-- it’ll be a great meme some day  
Fat joe-- okay boomer  
Gross dood-- father ian  
Papa ian-- that’s daddy to you  
Shanyé-- Oh CrAp DoOd  
Gross dood-- yes daddy  
Papa ian-- G O O D .  
Flitz-- ah, the text period makes a comeback.  
Corkney-- …  
Fat joe-- …  
Mari tacohashi-- …  
Boze bozington-- …  
Joen-- don’t tell me all 4 of you synced  
Corkney-- nope  
Fat joe-- fat joe ain’t got no blood in his body  
Shanyé-- fat joe is all plasma  
Michael jackson-- courtney freakin miller is all concrete  
Shanyé-- YES I AM  
Corkney-- f  
Damimen-- i summon the one true topp baby boi  
Shanyé-- whaddup man  
Damimen-- you owe me 50 bucks  
Shanyé-- okay man  
Damimen-- sweet  
Damimen-- *screenshot of venmo app*  
Damimen-- it was a prank but i’ll accept the money  
Corkney-- crap i should’ve done that a while ago  
Michael jackson-- can i have money i need an uber home tonight  
Boze bozington-- i will break up with courtney for money  
Shanyé-- the money goes to boze  
Boze bozington-- *screenshot of venmo app*  
Corkney-- no i was going to propose  
Boze bozington-- it’s okay baby i accept  
Shanyé-- f  
\--  
Papa ian added LASERCORN to smosh james  
Mari tacohashi-- wft ian  
Boze bozington-- this is jamers only idiot  
LASERCORN-- I AM JAMER  
Wes irl-- he’s going to blow up the whole maricraft server  
Flitz-- at least we’ll have a heads up.  
Wes irl-- touché  
LASERCORN-- BABE  
Papa ian-- BABE  
Mari tacohashi-- forever iancorn  
LASERCORN-- FOREVER  
LASERCORN-- THIS MARRIAGE IS BINDING  
Papa ian-- okay but during the i dos you say i do daddy  
LASERCORN-- YES DADDY  
Sohin-- hey lcorn turn off caps lock  
Papa ian-- he only takes orders from me  
Papa ian-- keep caps lock on  
LASERCORN-- YES DADDY


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the shipping here isn't serious it's just them making fun of those of us who ship them >:(  
> but it's fun to write

LASERCORN-- DADDY

Papa ian-- yes babe

Damimen-- is that actually your

Papa ian-- NO

LASERCORN-- DADDY I WANT TO BREAK UP

Papa ian-- NO

LASERCORN-- I NEED MY PRECIOUS WESLEY

Wes irl-- … 

Flitz-- wes is mine

Joen-- i disagree on many levels

Papa ian-- nerd

Joen-- make weshire real

Corkney-- joven you’re married

Gross dood-- polyamory

Joen-- now… why would i do that?

Boze bozington-- joven is against lgbtq+ 

Joen-- no i’m a gay old man

Shanyé-- *bi

Joen-- sure why not

Mari tacohashi-- wes: *happy noises*

Wes irl-- *happy noises*

Boze bozington-- matt raub is literally worried with the amount of texts appearing on my home screen rn

LASERCORN-- G O O D .

Papa ian-- hey i did that first

\--

Corkney-- hey bbssssssssssssssssss

Boze bozington-- good morning beautiful 😘

Shanyé-- 😭

Papa ian-- poor shayne

Damimen-- hey shayne

Shanyé-- wat

Damimen-- 😘

Shanyé-- 😘

Corkney-- crap

Corkney-- i just missed my opportunity

Michael jackson-- guys sarah is so happy

Michael jackson-- shaymien real

Damimen-- wtf did i get myself into

Shanyé-- 😊

\--

Boze bozington-- guys we should start out of context smosh

Boze bozington-- and it’s just screenshots of this chat

Papa ian-- *screenshot of previous iancorn breakup*

Mari tacohashi-- perfect

LASERCORN-- UPDATE

LASERCORN-- WES REJECTED ME

LASERCORN-- EFFING WESHIRE

Papa ian-- 💍

LASERCORN-- 😱

LASERCORN-- 🤔

Papa ian-- i’m worried

LASERCORN-- AS YOU SHOULD BE

Boze bozington-- guys i’m getting emotional

Gross dood-- this is too cute

LASERCORN-- SHUT UP LOVE NOOBS

LASERCORN-- 😄

LASERCORN-- 😍

\--

Papa ian-- 👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨

\--

Corkney-- this has been an eventful day

Fat joe-- i’m tired

Fat joe-- tired of love

Fat joe-- tired of this chat

Fat joe-- but mostly tired of lasercorn

LASERCORN-- I AM NOW A MARRIED MAN

Corkney-- you’ve been a married man for a while

Shanyé-- you also have a son

LASECORN-- DO I?

LASERCORN-- I FORGOT

Michael jackson-- eff ya’ll


	3. Chapter 3

Michael jackson-- court bourt noah olivia and i are going to jamba juice

Shanyé-- daddy wants his juse

Papa ian-- indeed i do

Shanyé-- i was talking about myself

LASERCORN-- IAN IS DADDY

Shanyé-- i think what i’m saying is i’m joining you guys at jamba

Michael jackson-- cool

Corkney-- i’ll meat you guys there

Corkney-- *meet

Shanyé-- hAhAhAhA

Michael jackson-- just get your lazy butt over there some time today

Corkney-- 😊

\--

Boze bozington-- so did you get the jamba

Corkney-- yeah

Boze bozington-- cool

Corkney-- do you want some of my drink

Boze bozington-- what is it

Damimen-- yes

Damimen-- i want some

corkney -- idk some healthy smoothie

Boze bozington-- ok i’m coming over

Damimen-- same

Joen-- no damien you’re staying right here

Damimen-- fine

Boze bozington-- hahaha

Corkney-- boohoo

Damimen-- 😡

\--

Mari tacohashi-- who wants to be on a board af

Joen-- me

Damimen-- me

Shanyé--me

Boze bozington-- me

Flitz-- me

Corkney-- me

Gross dood-- me

Mari tacohashi-- ok i’ll get the poll results to matt

\--

Damimen-- do you guys believe in soulmates

Corkney-- yeah platonic tho

Damimen-- good

Damimen-- i think i’ve found mine

Corkney-- oh really

Shanyé-- damien how did you not tell me you found your platonic soulmate and why is it not me

Damimen-- i didn’t tell you because it is you

Shanyé-- 😊

Damimen-- 😊

Corkney-- aw my little queer heart is exploding right now

Corkney-- oh sorry platonic

Shanyé-- yeah… 

\--

Boze bozington-- who the f took my juice box

Papa ian-- probably shayne

Corkney-- totally shayne

Damimen-- obviously shayne

Shanyé-- wtf

Shanyé-- just because daddy wants his juse doesn’t mean he always gets it

Boze bozington-- i’m looking at you lasercorn

LASERCORN-- I WAS THIRSTY

LASERCORN-- I’M SORRY

Joen-- um…

Joen-- it was actually me…

Joen-- but thanks lasercorn

Mari tacohashi-- joven that was my juice box

Joen-- aw crap

\--

Sohin-- hey

Flitz-- hey

Mari tacohashi-- hey

Joen-- hey

Boze bozington-- hey

Damimen-- hey

Wes irl-- hey

LASERCORN-- hey

Boze bozington-- omg lasercorn didn’t use all caps

Damimen-- this day shall be marked in history

Mari tacohashi-- i can literally hear damien saying that in some weird voice

Damimen-- 😊

LASERCORN-- I WAS KEEPING UP WITH THE FORMAT

LASERCORN-- AN ALL CAPS HEY WOULD’VE THROWN OFF THE PATTERN

Wes irl-- touché

Sohin-- anyways i don’t have anything to say i just 

Sohin-- idk

Mari tacohashi-- great

\--

Fat joe-- wassup

Shanyé-- wassup

Corkney-- how is the shoot going

Gross dood-- wait you’re not there

Corkney-- i’m literally in the same room as you

Corkney-- i can hear your phone go off every time i send a text

Fat joe-- noah’s bullying courtney

Michael jackson-- noah eff off

Gross dood-- hello court

Michael jackson-- don’t worry court bourt

Michael jackson-- i will take you to lunch

Fat joe-- can i come

Michael jackson-- court?

Corkney-- olivia and shayne can come with us

Shanyé-- yay

Fat joe-- 😊

Gross dood-- that’s okay

Gross dood-- i’m too picky to enjoy whatever you guys pick anyway

Fat joe-- anyway

Fat joe-- the shoot is going great

\--

Shanyé-- mm lunch was amazing

Gross dood-- let me guess

\--

Gross dood-- sushi

Fat joe-- nope

Shanyé-- took you a while too

Michael jackson-- we got in n out

Gross dood-- 😡

\--

Boze bozington-- today was an eventful day

Gross dood-- i missed out on in n out

Damimen-- SHAYNE?!

Shanyé-- keith took me, court, and livliv to in n out

Corkney-- it wasn’t shayne’s idea

Corkney-- noah was bullying me so keith took me to in n out and let me bring my gf and bf

Mari tacohashi-- aw sweet young love

Damimen-- it disgusts me

Wes irl-- damien’s jealous

Damimen-- am not

Sohin-- totally

LASERCORN-- DAMIEN IS IN LOVE

Damimen-- shut up

Damimen-- my soulmate is purely platonic

Shanyé-- true

Joen-- crap

Joen-- i thought it was me

Mari tacohashi-- weshire

Wes irl-- lasershire

LASERCORN-- SOSHIRE

Sohin-- bozeshire

Boze bozington-- damishire

Damimen-- flitshire

Flitz-- marishire

Mari tacohashi-- let’s agree to disagree

LASERCORN-- LET’S SETTLE THIS WITH A BATTLE TO THE DEATH

LASERCORN-- OR ARSON

LASERCORN-- ARSON WORKS AS WELL


	4. Chapter 4

Sohin-- wait so does this mean we’re doing another summer games

Wes irl-- i mean

Wes irl-- i guess

Fat joe-- yay

Papa ian-- let’s hope so

Papa ian-- although why didn’t matt raub ask me for ideas

Papa ian-- why matt raub ask you

Corkney-- i’m responsible

Corkney-- and why not

Michael jackson-- yeah

Michael jackson-- back off ian

Papa ian-- why y’all bully me

Papa ian-- you wouldn’t have this job without me

Gross dood-- honestly would’ve preferred it that way

Damimen-- I WANT IT THAT WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY

Papa ian-- jesus christo

Papa ian-- stop bullying me

Shanyé-- welcome back to get rekt

Shanyé-- today noah grossman’s back at it again

Shanyé-- actually

Shanyé-- why are you watching get rekt

Shanyé-- we all know noah won

Shanyé-- he’s too savage

Damimen-- his roasts are too powerful

Mari tacohashi-- damien…

Damimen-- what

Damimen-- oh wait

Damimen-- oh no

Damimen-- OH NO

Mari tacohashi-- looks

Damimen-- NO

Mari tacohashi-- like

Mari tacohashi-- you

Damimen-- NO

Mari tacohashi-- need

Shanyé-- YES

Mari tacohashi-- more

Shanyé-- DO IT

Damimen-- NO

Damimen-- PLEASE

Shanyé-- please

Shanyé-- yes

Damimen-- 🥺

Mari tacohashi-- training

Boze bozington-- HAHA WE GOT ‘EM BOIS

Damimen-- 🤕

Boze bozington-- 🤭

\--

Shanyé-- pitch meeting before we all go home

Shanyé-- EVERYONE HAS TO BE THERE  
Shanyé-- AS DECREED BY KING MATT RAUB

Michael jackson-- f

\--

Wes irl-- sohinki why weren’t you at the meeting 😟

Sohin-- 🤢🤒🤮🥵🥶

Flitz-- looks like you’ve got a lot going on

Sohin-- actually just fever and nausea

Sohin-- but i wanted to use all the sick emojis i could

Damimen-- so sorry

Damimen-- feel better soon

Sohin-- thanks

Sohin-- but for now still sick

Joen-- gr8

Boze bozington-- don’t you effing dare

Wes irl-- keep this a happy candy land

Damimen-- do it for wes

Fat joe-- for wes

Gross dood-- please

Corkney-- we’re counting on you joben

LASERCORN-- DO IT OR YOU DIE

Sohin-- protect wes

Shanyé-- protect the pretty girl

Mari tacohashi-- #wesisaprettygirl

Michael jackson-- don’t piss off boze

Flitz-- yah or we gonna beat your butt off

Papa ian-- don’t start a war

Joen-- k

Boze bozington-- i’m still gonna kill you tomorrow

Joen-- k

LASERCORN-- I VOLUNTEER AS TRIBUTE

LASERCORN-- I WILL DO THE HONORS

Boze bozington-- thanks

Boze bozington-- you do that

LASERCORN-- YES

LASERCORN-- DADDY I’M GOING TO BE A MURDERER

Papa ian-- i thought you already were

Papa ian-- sorry i only date serial killers

LASERCORN-- NO BUT THE WEDDING

Papa ian-- already cancelled

Mari tacohashi-- oh crap lcorn

Damimen-- that’s okay i never got an invitation anyway

Shanyé-- HAHA

Shanyé-- the rest of us were invited

LASERCORN-- NO

LASERCORN-- I LOVE YOU

Papa ian-- i love you too

Papa ian-- but i must stay true to myself

Papa ian-- i have a type

Papa ian-- that type being serial killers

Papa ian-- and you aren’t my type

Boze bozington-- thanks joven 

Boze bozington-- it’s all your fault

Joen-- k


	5. Chapter 5

Corkney-- ok

Corkney-- so i just looked at our texts from yesterday

Corkney-- what the heck happened

Shanyé-- what were we on

Boze bozington-- must have been the most expensive crack in the world

Mari tacohashi-- so ian how is that roleplay with lcorn going

Papa ian-- good

Papa ian-- i think he secretly enjoys it

\--

LASERCORN-- I DO NOT

\--

Shanyé-- sarah’s bullying me

Shanyé-- monica’s bullying me too

Corkney-- good

Damimen-- you tell ‘em cort bort

Michael jackson-- as the creator of the nickname i must inform you

Michael jackson-- your incorrect spelling of the name pisses me off

Damimen-- well you have a bean dip hat

Damimen-- that pisses me off

Michael jackson-- someone take me off this chat

\--

Fat joe-- flapjacks

Mari tacohashi-- can i help you

Fat joe-- pancakes

Shanyé-- yes

Fat joe-- finally someone that understands me

Shanyé-- exactly

\--

Fat joe-- cheese sticks

Corkney-- what about them

Shanyé-- precisely

Fat joe-- thank you

\--

LASERCORN-- BLOOD

LASERCORN-- MURDER

Fat joe-- yes

Shanyé-- totally

Corkney-- this chat is on crack

\--

Papa ian-- no we’re too good for that crap

Sohin-- yeah we deserve gourmet… cocaine

Joen-- isn’t that what crack is

Wes irl-- candy

Wes irl-- gourmet candy

Mari tacohashi-- gourmet tobacco

Papa ian-- sure

Papa ian-- why not

Joen-- yah why the heck not

Papa ian-- yeah this chat is on gourmet tobacco

Corkney-- so that’s what it is

Corkney-- huh

Corkney-- weird

\--

Shanyé-- ppl r so cul

Boze bozington-- wtf shayne

Shanyé-- idk

Shanyé-- wft w u

Boze bozington-- i’m done with you and your crap

Shanyé-- no it’s

Shanyé-- im dun w u and ur crahp

Boze bozington-- you’re stupid and that’s why courtney likes me and damien better

Damimen-- yah

Corkney-- yah

Shanyé-- but damien is my fiancé

Shanyé-- and courtney is my sister

Boze bozington-- am i not part of the family

Damimen-- you’re adopted

Boze bozington-- 😅

Boze bozington-- 🤣

Boze bozington-- 😭

Shané-- wow honey our adopted daughter has a full range of emotions

Damimen-- wOw

Corkney-- wow my niece is trash

Damimen-- she sure is haha

Boze bozington-- this is why the school forced you to get me therapy

Shanyé-- you have therapy?

Damimen-- oh sorry sweetie we don’t care

Papa ian-- i love my dumb crap family

\--

Fat joe-- clocks

Shanyé-- of course

Corkney-- i’m tired of this

Corkney-- yall are dumb


	6. Chapter 6

Wes irl-- cnady

Wes irl-- *candy

\--

Papa ian-- wes unfortunately i have to inform you our ssg budget doesn’t have room for candy

Papa ian-- don’t make the rules

Papa ian-- anymore

Papa ian-- that’s matt raub’s job now

Wes irl-- *sad noises*

\--

Corkney-- guys

Corkney-- have a new obsession

Damimen-- boys

Shanyé-- me

Boze bozington-- wedding planning *wonk*

Flitz-- you mean wink

Boze bozington-- yes

Shanyé-- it’s still me

Corkney-- abba

Gross dood-- mama mia

Damimen-- meryl streep

Corkney-- yes but no

Corkney-- the band who wrote the music used in mama mia sung by meryl streep

Damimen-- cool

\--

LASERCORN-- WHAT MAKES YOU SO COOL

LASERCORN-- WHY DO YOU BULLY ME

LASERCORN-- WHY AM I NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU

Mari tacohashi-- what happened

LASERCORN-- nothing

Sohin-- i know what happened

Joen-- he didn’t use caps

Sohin-- that is indeed what happened

Flitz-- i knew it

LASERCORN-- SEE MOM THEY’RE PICKING ON ME

Mari tacohashi-- imma change my name to mama mari

Papa ian-- …

Mama mari-- haha

Papa ian-- crap

Papa ian-- this is gonna be weird

Shanyé-- MOMMY!

Mama mari-- SON!

Damimen-- i feel left out and unloved

\--

Wes irl-- loving mother

Mama mari-- yes wonderful son

Wes irl-- will you buy me a cake

Mama mari-- of course dear

Damimen-- 😭

Mama mari-- but you must share with your siblings and your father

Papa ian-- heck yeah

Wes irl-- okay mom

Mama mari-- good boy

Damimen-- 😄😄😄

Shanyé-- yay 

Sohin-- can it be chocolate cake

Corkney-- no lemon cake

Wes irl-- i wanna try lemon cake

Mama mari-- great

Papa ian-- wait are you actually going to buy a lemon cake

Mama mari-- that depends on whether i get paid, ian hecox

Papa ian-- that’s not my job

LASERCORN-- ONE DAY

LASERCORN-- WE SHALL WATCH DEFY BURN

Boze bozington-- wait who’s getting cake

\--

Michael jackson-- best cake ever

Michael jackson-- thank you fair mother

Mama mari-- of course

Shanyé-- who’s your favorite child

Mama mari-- flitz of course

Mama mari-- he knows when to shut up and is great at comedy

Mama mari-- and video games

Flitz-- mwahahahaha

Shanyé-- but mom he’s evil

Mama mari-- flitz and courtney are my favorites

Mama mari-- end of discussion

Mama mari-- actually shayne you’re a close third

Mama mari-- i’ve decided the ranking

Joen-- yay imma be first

Gross dood-- yeah right

Mama mari-- 1 courtney 

Mama mari-- 2 shayne

Mama mari-- 3 wes

Mama mari-- 4 olivia

Mama mari-- 5 sohinki

Mama mari-- 6 flitz

Mama mari-- 7 boze

Mama mari-- 8 keith

Mama mari-- 9 noah

Mama mari-- 10 LASERCORN

Mama mari-- 11 tie between joven and damien

Damimen-- once again i am unloved

Joen-- why does no one like me

Corkney-- pervert

Mama mari-- actually 11 is damien

Mama mari-- 12 joven

Damimen-- i love my amazing family


	7. Chapter 7

Shanyé-- so wait we have a big family consisting of all of us 

Shanyé-- and then smaller individual families right

Mama mari-- yah

Shanyé-- so i’m married to damien and he’s my brother

Damimen-- SWEET HOME ALABAMA

Corkeny-- is he doing it again

Boze bozington-- yep

Boze bozington-- probably predicting the future again

Boze bozington-- but this time it doesn’t make sense

Damimen-- shut up adopted daughter/sister

Corkney-- yah shut up niece

Boze bozington-- mom my sibling are harassing me

Mama mari-- they are your parents they can do whatever the heck they want

Boze bozington-- 😭

Papa ian-- we’re good parents

Mama mari-- yah

\--

Damimen-- hi i’d like to file a lawsuit

Gross dood-- judge betty wants to hear your complaints

Damimen-- my family harasses me

Damimen-- they hate mee

Gross dood-- heck yeah we do

Damimen-- 😭

\--

Joen-- ok so how is ian smosh dadd if mari is smosh mom

Joen-- i’m more fatherly than him

LASERCORN-- AS A FATHER I CAN CONFIRM

Mama mari-- i don’t think good dads have bad hangovers every time they come to work

Sohin-- several times we’ve had to snatch the sunglasses off his face for a shoot

Joen-- i’m totally a good dad

Joen-- i’d never drink while caring for the chirren

Damimen-- ew you’re too old to use that term

Mama mari-- you’re like the guy i dated in high school and we both grew up

Mama mari-- and now you’re a crazy old alcoholic and smoker who want to get back together

Mama mari-- but i have a husband and 12 chirren

Joen-- fine with me

Joen-- hey kids want some tobacco

Papa ian-- we only do the gourmet stuff

Joen-- crap

\--

Boze bozington-- mom a creepy drunk guy is following me around

Joen-- not me

Corkney-- it is tho

Mama mari-- joven go away

Joen-- yes hot ex

Damimen-- i think we should just delete him from the chat

Michael jackson-- mee too

Michael jackson-- i mean delete me too

Gross dood-- no brother

Michael jackson-- oh wait leave me be

\--

Fat joe-- havana ooh na na

Shanyé-- correct

Corkney-- STOP IT

Corkney-- I TOLD YOU TO STOP

Shanyé-- what we can’t use sibling telepathy

Corkney-- fine

\--

Corkney-- bananas

Shanyé-- i know right

Corkney-- haha i understand now

Corkney-- wow

\--

Sohin-- sO iF sOmEoNe WeRe TyPiNg UsInG tHiS fOrMaT

Sohin-- how would they type wow

Flitz-- wOw

Sohin-- okay

Flitz-- OkAy

Sohin-- that’s not what i meant

Flitz-- ThAt’S nOt WhAt I mEaNt

Sohin-- i give up

Flitz-- i GiVe Up

\--

Boze bozington-- today was eventful

Wes irl-- no cake

Mama mari-- you didn’t ask

Papa ian-- you got cake yesterday

Mama mari-- and as parents we have to keep you under control and healthy

Papa ian-- yah what she said

Corkney-- that’s what she said

Papa ian-- you get time out

Papa ian-- olivia will replace you in this ebe

Corkney-- NO

Fat joe-- but i have to 

Fat joe-- do something else

Papa ian-- okay

Boze bozington-- and by eventful i mean

Boze bozington-- we got followed by a creepy alcoholic

michael jackson-- TRYING TO SELL US REGULAR TOBACCO

LASERCORN-- YAH LIKE WE AREN’T POOR

LASERCORN-- GIVE US THE GOODS

Joen-- sorry about that

Boze bozington-- courtney learned sibling telepathy

Corkney-- heyoooo

Shanyé-- agreed

Shanyé-- like

Shanyé-- why not

Boze bozington-- a perfect example

Boze bozington-- and sohinki learned 

Boze bozington-- HoW tO uSe ThIs FoRmAt

Sohin-- thank you flitz

Flitz-- ThAnK yOu


	8. Chapter 8

Corkney-- chirren

Shanyé-- perfection amirite

Corkney-- haha

\--

Fat joe-- yo mama

Michael jackson-- don’t talk about mom like that

Mama mari-- thank you son

Mama mari-- here have a snickers bar

Michael jackson-- oh really

Michael jackson-- *picture of snickers bar*

Fat joe-- life sucks sometimes

Fat joe-- *all the time

\--

Wes irl-- mom can i have candy

Mama mari-- you literally had donuts and hot chocolate for breakfast

Wes irl-- so

Mama mari-- so no

Papa ian-- i don’t want my son to have diabetes

Wes irl-- but keith gets a snicker

Michael jackson-- yeah well i respect my mother

Wes irl-- mom i forgot to thank you for the lemon cake

Wes irl-- thank you

Flitz-- thank you

Fat joe-- thank you

Damimen-- thank you

Gross dood-- thank you

Corkney-- thank you

Sohin-- thank you

Michael jackson-- thank you

Joen-- thank you

LASERCORN-- thank you

Boze bozington-- thank you

Shanyé-- thank you

Papa ian-- thank you

Mama mari-- thank you

Mama mari-- wait what

Mama mari-- sorry

Mama mari-- you’re welcome

Mama mari-- wes you now get a snickers bar

Wes irl-- yay

Corkney-- see kids

Corkney-- when we help our brother out he gets his wish granted

Shanyé-- hooray

\--

Flitz-- i’m board af

\--

Flitz-- okay not funny this time

Boze bozington-- it was never funny

\--

Michael jackson-- noah be my bf

Gross dood-- why is there someone following you

Michael jackson-- no but sometimes after lunch it does happen

Michael jackson-- no like shayne and damien are engaged so be my bf

Gross dood-- you want a date for their wedding

Michael jackson-- EFFING BE MY BOYFRIEND 

Michael jackson-- AND THEN YES GO TO THE WEDDING WITH ME

Gross dood-- k

Damimen-- SWEET HOME ALABAMA

\--

Papa ian-- wonderful wife

LASERCORN-- I’M NOT YOUR WIFE I’M YOUR HUSBAND

Papa ian-- i was talking to my wife

Papa ian-- not my ex boyfriend

Joen-- oof

Joen-- we can be creepy exes together

LASERCORN-- LASERSHIRE LIVES

Joen-- that’s not what i meant

Joen-- but yah

Joen-- okay

Mama mari-- you called perfect husband

Papa ian-- yes

Mama mari-- so…

Papa ian-- yes um lets renew our vows

Mama mari-- in china

Fat joe-- heck yeah

Papa ian-- yes

Papa ian-- perfect

Mama mari-- okay kids 

Mama mari-- pack your bags

Papa ian-- we be flying to china tonight

Shanyé-- cool i’m asian

Boze bozington-- no you’re black

Shanyé-- oh yeah right

Papa ian-- GO PREPARE FOR THE TRIP

Papa ian-- PACK NICE THINGS

Papa ian-- ME AND YOUR MOTHER ARE RENEWING OUR VOWS

Corkney-- *mother and i

Papa ian-- i don’t give a crap


	9. Chapter 9

Corkney-- chirren

Shanyé-- you are a chirren

Damimen-- we all are

Damimen-- except mom and dad

Shanyé-- yah

Corkney-- well my point it

Corkney-- how is everyone today

Damimen-- good thank you for asking

Shanyé-- yah what he said

Corkney-- cool

\--

Shanyé-- *mirror selfie in fancy clothes*

Corkney-- ooh you look spiffy

Shanyé-- thank you young sister

Damimen-- you look hot

Shanyé-- thank you attractive fiancé

Gross dood-- ooh is that the wedding tux

Corkney-- noah does that look like a tux to you

Gross dood-- if keith proposes to me or if i propose to keith i’m gonna get married in a neon suit

Damimen-- no tux?

Gross dood-- no tux

Corkney-- why

Gross dood-- why not

Corkney-- you are so weird

Shanyé-- anyway

Shanyé-- i’m going to a friend’s party

Damimen-- who

Shanyé-- none of you know her

Corkney-- real gf?

Shanyé-- everyone knows i can’t get a real gf to save my life

Damimen-- can i go with you

Shanyé-- i would appreciate that

Shanyé-- i will let her know that i am bringing my platonic soulmate with me

Corkney-- haha friendzoned

Damimen-- no it’s always been like that

Corkney-- oh right

Corkney-- hey ever considered polyamory

Shanyé-- haha nope

Damimen-- haha rejected

Corkney-- 😢

\--

Corkney-- dad i got rejected

Papa ian-- daughter don’t be sad

Papa ian-- kick him

Papa ian-- hard

Corkney-- both of them?

Papa ian-- …

Papa ian-- yah

\--

Damimen-- mom courtney kicked me

Damimen-- hard

Shanyé-- me too

Mama mari-- okay

Damimen-- WHAT

Mama mari-- sometimes you guys deserve it

\--

Corkney-- thanks mom

Mama mari-- no problem

Corkney-- also thanks dad

Papa ian-- anything for my daughter

\--

Damimen-- life sucks

Shanyé-- it do don’t it

Damimen-- haha skimpy jiggles jr.

Shanyé-- maybe one day i will use that for a tntl

Damimen-- one dah

Shanyé-- stop using my bits

\--

Shanyé-- life still sucks


	10. Chapter 10

LASERCORN-- IF I CHUG A GALLON OF MILK WHAT WILL HAPPEN

Papa ian-- you’ll get fired

\--

Shanyé-- so random

Damimen-- haha

Damimen-- wow

Shanyé-- peppers

Damimen-- haha

Damimen-- wow

Shanyé-- denim lobamba

Damimen-- haha

Damimen-- why

\--

Corkney-- constipation is overrated

Fat joe-- cheesy whopper waffle

Corkney-- …

Fat joe-- i’m typing random letters and letting autocorrect take control

Corkney-- give me a good one

Fat joe-- i want to sag your pickles

Corkney-- haha 

Corkney-- good one

Fat joe-- thank you

\--

Fat joe-- shayne

Shanyé-- what

Shanyé-- wait

Shanyé-- i summon my bodyguard damien

Damimen-- yes i am here

Shanyé-- okay 

Shanyé-- what

Fat joe-- i want to sag your pickles

Damimen-- you have been stopped

Fat joe-- did you see my texts with courtney

Shanyé-- of course

Shanyé-- this is the group chat after all

Fat joe-- so you get it

Damimen-- yeah

Damimen-- i think we all do

Fat joe-- great

\--

LASERCORN-- I’M TIRED OF EVERYONE WALKING AROUND THE OFFICE SAYING

LASERCORN-- I WANT TO SAG YOUR PICKLES

LASERCORN-- JUST SHUT UP

Papa ian-- hey babe

LASERCORN-- WHAT

Papa ian-- i want to sag your pickles

LASERCORN-- DO IT

Papa ian-- f

\--

Flitz-- pickles

Sohin-- olivia what do the pickles mean

Fat joe-- we’ll never know

Mama mari-- good

Boze bozington-- i don’t think we want to know

Joen-- get your head out of the gutter

Joen-- is that how the expression goes

Mama mari-- we’re jamers

Mama mari-- how would we know

\--

Joen-- shayne you’re smart right

Damimen-- no

Corkney-- probably not

Mama mari-- my son has a tutor

Mama mari-- he’s obviously metally challenged

Michael jackson-- he has brown’s syndrome and he’s dyslexic

Shanyé-- i can confirm my own stupidity

Shanyé-- what does that mean

Joen-- is this how the expression goes

Mama mari-- joven stop

Joen-- get your head out of the gutter

Shanyé-- my head isn’t in a gutter

Shanyé-- that’s gross anyway

Gross dood-- we warned you joven oven ovenshire

Joen-- 

\--

Corkney-- the evolution

Corkney-- joshua ovenshire

Corkney-- josh ovenshire

Corkney-- jovenshire

Corkney-- joven

Corkney-- joen

Corkney-- joben

Corkney-- jobean

Corkney-- beans

Joen-- why

Boze bozington-- aristotle reincarnated at courtney

Boze bozington-- change my mind

Shanyé-- hey beans

Joen-- wtf you want

Shanyé-- how do i pronounce wtf

Shanyé-- what does pronounce mean

Shanyé-- what does what mean

Shanyé-- what does does mean

Shanyé-- what does mean mean

Joen-- how do i make my brother smart

Shanyé-- what is brother

\--

Mama mari-- saggy pickles

Fat joe-- i want to sag your pickles

Papa ian-- the new smosh catchphrase

LASERCORN-- MAKE IT STOP

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i don't think there's a timeline anymore  
> this takes place everywhere


	11. Chapter 11

Shanyé-- i wonder what would happen if we straight up asked for fanfiction

Boze bozington-- i think it’s quite obvious what would happen

Joen-- SMUT

\--

Shanyé-- but like

Shanyé-- we should do it

Corkney-- why

Shanyé-- i don’t see why not

Joen-- SMUT

\--

Flitz-- you ever just wonder what makes wes such a pretty girl

Joen-- all the time

Wes irl-- i wonder too

Wes irl-- sometimes

Shanyé-- indeed

\--

Sohin-- olivia do the autocorrect thing again

Fat joe-- k

Fat joe-- mom celery domino chimichanga xylophone

Flitz-- this time type a random word correctly and use the words that pop up next

Fat joe-- k

Fat joe-- wanda is not coming over for the dinner party at my house tonight at all

Shanyé-- WANDA HOW DARE YOU

Damimen-- wanda will not be bothering us anymore

Wes irl-- oh no

Sohin-- it was the poisonous candy

Wes irl-- 😰

\--

Damimen-- wes i poisoned all of the candy here in the smoffice

Wes irl-- *sad noises*

Wesirl-- *depressed noises*

Wes irl-- *utter lifelessness noises*

Mama mari-- i hear you are bullying my son

Damimen-- no

Mama mari-- ok

Wes irl-- mom no

Damimen-- hey kid

Damimen-- you want some candy

Wes irl-- yes

Sohin-- and that was the last we heard of wes

Sohin-- turns out he really did poison the candy 

Sohin-- in his white van

Damimen-- mwahahahaha

\--

Fat joe-- machete

Shanyé-- oui

Damimen-- what does that mean

Shanyé-- lemme get it 

Shanyé-- one sec

Damimen-- k

Shanyé-- ja

Damimen-- Oh ich verstehe

Damimen-- ich wusste nicht, dass du deutsch sprichst

Shanyé-- ich nicht

Shanyé-- ich verwende google translate

Damimen-- oh

Shanyé-- ja

\--

Damimen-- so what language was that

Shanyé-- français

Damimen-- was that google translate

Shanyé-- oui mon amour

Damimen-- 😊

Shanyé-- i don’t know if french is feminine or masculine so i used masculine

Shanyé-- is the french language masculine

Damimen-- probably

\--

Corkney-- ngoku i-smosh iyilwimi ezimbini

Boze bozington-- 도대체 친구들

Joen-- ian bu chòir dhuinn eadar-theangachadh google fhaighinn gus taic a thoirt do smosh

Papa ian-- 多分

Shanyé-- e hele i meaʻai

Shanyé-- pōloli wau

Damimen-- aontaithe

Wes irl-- lass

**Author's Note:**

> cooments and kudos very much appreciated.


End file.
